If I were mend to be reading - then I wud already be and that should be downstream

So if i am not reading, then that means i am not meant to be reading and i am only supposed to be floating downstream at all and any given points in time, so if i tell myself that i wanna read or i would like to have been reading instead of watching tv series (which they say with a negative connotation that it is designed to hook you and it is designed to be addictive as if that is a bad thing --- think of images like it is a giant fishing net for your capturing your attention_ and these things (interesting tv shows and movies and social media and instagram and so on) will feed on your attention and will keep draining your energy by draining your atttttention time and energy)... right? that is the argument right... well, that is only one version of the reality, one particularized way of looking at things or angle and you need not look at it that way, you are following your excitement and your excitement (they say is dopamine chasing which causes dopamine depletion and sleep deprived states and so on)... without giving them or it such or yourself such depletionary ideations that cripple and jail and enjail you in conceptual hellishness, get rid of these notions and follow and keep chasing your excitement.. your momentary excitement... not what where you would like to end up in 3 months from now... what you would be doing now.. right now.. and want to do really as in it feels downstreamy to you... chase and go  down.. float yourself... with that self abandon... to the downstreamy streaminess...