After Sontag's death, the author found nearly a hundred notebooks filled with diaries, which were organized by her assistant and friend during the sorting of her effects.
The sole conversation about the diaries occurred when she first fell ill, where she simply stated, "You know where the diaries are," without providing further instructions on what to do with them.
From a young age, Sontag believed she had special gifts and a significant contribution to make, which fueled her relentless pursuit of knowledge and education throughout her life.
The author references Isaac Babel’s motto "You must know everything" to highlight Sontag’s desire for deep knowledge and understanding.
Sontag's stepfather urged her to relax and read less to find a husband, while her tutor, Stuart Hampshire, expressed frustration at her seriousness, comparing her to Germans and implying it was a negative trait. Sontag, however, took this as a point of pride.
The author suggests that Sontag held a deep belief in the ability to remake oneself, reflecting an American ideal that emphasizes personal agency and transformation throughout one’s life.
"Ideas disturb the levelness of life."
She finds solace and clarity in music, particularly through Mozart's Don Giovanni. The arias evoke strong emotions and provide her with a sense of resolution and serenity amidst turmoil.
Sontag describes her reading of Gide as an intense intellectual communion, feeling overwhelmed by the speed of thought and the depth of insight, which she likens to experiencing labor pains for every idea he presents.
André Gide (1869-1951) was a prominent French author, awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1947. His literary career spanned various styles, beginning with the Symbolist movement and evolving into a critique of moral and political issues. Gide's notable works include The Immoralist and The Counterfeiters, which explore themes of individual freedom and moral complexity. He is recognized for his experimental narrative techniques and autobiographical writings that reflect his struggles with identity and sexuality. Gide's influence extended beyond literature, impacting modern thought on freedom and tradition.
The reading list reflects her desire for intellectual engagement and growth, showcasing her ambition to immerse herself in a wide range of literature, plays, and poetry, indicating a commitment to expanding her understanding of art and life.
She emphasizes that poetry must be exact, intense, and complex, suggesting that art strives for independence from mere intelligence.
Sontag experiences music as a deeply physical and emotional force, feeling both passion and pain in response to the melodies. She describes music as alive and sensual, evoking a visceral reaction that connects her body to the emotional landscape of the piece.
Sontag finds Goethe’s Faust moving but acknowledges her limited understanding, while she feels a strong connection to Marlowe’s work, having invested significant time in rereading it aloud. This indicates her deep engagement with texts that resonate with her.
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